The Epiphany Moment Project

Matt Chevy is one of the hardest working people in my Blogopshere.  OK, I take that back.  He’s WAY bigger than just my little old social network.  I had the pleasure of chatting with him for a few minutes on Skype this week.

You can check out his amazing project, The Epiphany Moment, over at Life Without Pants.  The focus of my Epiphany Moment was knowing when to say No and to set boundaries for yourself.  Head over to his site to record your own Epiphany Moment.

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Just say No

It can be difficult for those of us who have high expectations for ourselves to set boundaries.  We feel guilty if we say No. We put too much pressure on ourselves to do EVERYTHING.  To PLEASE everyone.  To just take on one more project, client, assignment, research project.  To write just one more blog.  To do one more favor.  To allow someone to take advantage of our kindness, our abilities, our time.  To say Yes Yes Yes.  But we can’t.  We have to take care of ourselves and set boundaries so we can be successful and healthy and happy.  We must be able to set boundaries and say without feeling guilty, especially in our interpersonal relationships.  Ultimately, if we don’t care of ourselves, we cannot take care of others.  We cannot do what needs to be done at the end of the day.  Parents cannot be good parents if they do not take care of themselves.  Friends and family members cannot be good for one another without doing what is best for them as individuals before doing what their friends or family want from them.  It is OK to say No.  And it is OK not to explain yourself.  By saying No, you are empowering yourself to focus on what you need to do in the here and now.

When was the last time you told someone No?  Told yourself No?  Set boundaries in a relationship or situation?

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It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly, and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves – to protect ourselves when it is necessary. It is impossible to learn to be loving to ourselves without owning our self – and owning our rights and responsibilities as co-creators of our lives.

~ Robert Burney~