Home is where your stomach is (oh, and your heart)

Travel

{The view from Lynnhaven Fish House in Virginia Beach a few minutes from my house – via Robert LZ}

{Downtown Norfolk – via PhiSigmaSigma.org}

{Virginia Beach boardwalk – via Weingart Dude

As you probably know by now, I live in Virginia Beach.  I work and go to school in Norfolk.  Both of those neighboring bay/ocean front cities are part of the greater Southeastern Virginia metro area.

I LOVE this place.  And I also love the food here.  I wrote a guest post over at Nomadic Foodie.  It is Doniree‘s food blog where she talks about her food adventures and adoration for wine and cheese plates.  I like wine and cheese plates, too!  So, if you like seafood, cheese plates and wine, you should definitely read my guest post about my favorite local (and semi-local) food joints in Norfolk and Virginia Beach.

P.S.  You should come visit me so you can eat with me!  Considering I will be here for at least three more years, you have plenty of time.

The Thesis Proposal and a bit of a social media break

Grad school

I have this thing called a Master’s Thesis.

Shared Leadership as a Function of Role Assignment and Task Difficulty in a Distributed Computer Game

Abstract:

The use of computer game-based architectures provides a safe, controlled environment in which geographically dispersed military units can develop leadership skills while rehearsing a specific task such as building clearing, search and rescue, or navigation.  The purpose of this study is to investigate the relationship among task difficulty, team task performance and emergent leadership during a team search task using a modified version of the popular video game, Half Life 2 ™.  The shared leadership model predicts that multiple individuals often share responsibility for the outcome of a task.  Using gaming experience and efficacy as covariates in a within-subjects ANCOVA, I will assess if role assignment and task difficulty will interact to have an effect on whether an individual emerges as a leader.  There are two levels of difficulty: easy and difficult.  There are two types of roles: the individual with the map and the individual who is immersed in the game.  This experiment may indicate that the leader emerges based on task context or role he takes during the task.  Such results would lend support for a more contextual theoretical basis for emergent leadership than a personality-driven theoretical leadership model.  The Army can implement this leadership model in the creation of new video game-based leadership training modules.

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Are you still with me? You can read more about the pilot study for my thesis that I completed last year here.  I included some of my pilot study results in a conference submission and hope to have it published in September.  I also hope to combine the leadership findings from the pilot study with my thesis to write a journal article in the Fall.

I was supposed to finish data collection in April because the research participant pool drastically decreases in the summer. I propose in April. So I’m a semester behind. Why? Because I have tough classes,  a challenging job outside of school, an apartment and car I need to maintain, a blog, a cat, a family and friends. Because I applied to PhD programs last semester.  Because I’m active in multiple student organizations.  Because I like to play on the Internet, watch TV and movies, sleep, eat and exercise a little. Mostly because I like to sleep.

My advisor is not exactly pleased about all of this, but I am OK with being behind.  I am OK with prioritizing my life the way I did this semester.  At the end of the day, I finish what I need to finish.  One cannot be a perfectionist in grad school and survive.  One must pick his or her battles and I picked mine.

I have a lot to do the rest of this semester. It makes me want to freak out just a little bit.  To be honest, I have thoroughly freaked out multiple times already.

This summer will be interesting.

For my thesis, I will (with the help a lovely undergrad assistant):

  • Run 30 teams through my two hour experiment
  • Transcribe 30 teams’ conversations (Four fifteen-minute conversations)
  • Content code 30 x 4 conversations
  • Analyze my data
  • Write my Results and Discussion sections
  • Defend my Thesis by July 30th
  • Submit my final Thesis to the Registrar on August 20th

If all the above goes as planned, I will graduate on August 27th so I can hit the ground running when I start the PhD program.

I will also work full time between May 1st and September 1st.  Yes, that’s right.  40 hours a week, baby.  Gotta make that cash monies so I can go to the strip clubs in Vegas.  😉

I plan to exercise regularly again beginning NOW because this is something that completely went by the wayside this semester.  My hip, my pants and my scale are starting to scream at me for missing yoga so much.

I will most likely move closer to campus in July or August.  I absolutely adore living in Virginia Beach, but the commute is killing me.  I need to move to Norfolk or at least somewhere in Virginia Beach that is closer to campus.  Sometimes I spend over two hours commuting in a day between school and work and home.  A long commute is fine for some people because it is just for one job, they make enough money that it does not create a financial burden and they have a family who can take care of things at home when they are driving.  For me, that two hours I sometimes lose on the road could be used more efficiently in a number of ways.  For example, I could exercise every day in the amount of time I am normally driving.

I also have six trips planned right now between May and September:

  • Vegas/Boulder/(debating on the 3rd destination) for 10 days
  • A week in Glasgow for work
  • A week in DC for work and fun times
  • Huntsville for a long weekend
  • Boston for a long weekend
  • Portland for a long weekend

Right.

So as you can see, I have to re-prioritize things in my life until June.

The plan to get ‘er done between now and September

I think it’s time I step away from the blog.  I have some blog posts lined up to tide you over until June, but I will probably not be very swift with replies to comments.  My Google Reader is filled with all of your blogs, so I will keep up with them.  I may not be able to comment as often on the amazing posts you all have lined up.  I have challenged myself to drastically reduce my use of Twitter or TweetDeck in April.  That is code for: I am not allowed to open TweetDeck during the week.  I know, right?!  You know where to find me in the meantime.  If you have still not added me as a Facebook friend, why the hell not?!  I know where to find all of you lovelies, too.

The point is… I have to be a full-time grad student and full time government employee until I see (some of) you in Vegas for Bloggers in Sin City.  While some people can juggle many clementines, some of us cannot do it successfully.  Something’s gotta give now for me.  And that something is social media.

Cherio!

Empowering others online

The Way

{The otter says Namaste – via KarmaRoutes}

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.  In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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I recently Googled the Goethe quote above so I would get it exactly right.  I wanted to write a post about empowering others and how my friends online have empowered me to be a more honest and kinder person.  I came across a post Jenny Blake wrote in December about seeing the best in others.  I thought this was serendipitous.  OK, sure her post was listed under My Social Circle, but STILL.

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Live well.  Be real.  Be kind.  Be fearless.  Those words seem so simple, so why is it so difficult for humans to empower one another and to live with kindness and empathy?

It is important for me to live my life now as if it were the only chance I have.  For me, the only life I will ever have is happening now.  The only relationships I will ever have are taking place now.  Even if there is an afterlife of some kind, I do not believe I will be aware of it. This is my only chance at life, at love, at peace.  I want to do it up right, yo.

I have not always lived a life of which I could be proud.  I have not always been kind to others or to myself.  I have said and done things I have only recently forgiven in myself so I can move forward and let go of the past.  I try not to let the past control me, but sometimes it sneaks up on me when I least expect it.  It sneaks up on me in my relationships most of all.  A few times online I have said something positive and received the following responses: “You are way too nice” and “You give me too much credit.”  Really?  Am I too nice?  Do I give you too much credit for something you accomplished?  Probably not.  I think to myself, “Just say thank you. If I didn’t believe what I was saying was true, I would not say it.”  But then I think, “Wait, if someone said something nice about me, would I embrace it or hide from it or feel uncomfortable?”  I guess it is still easier for me to give than to receive kindness.  I think others are also better able to be kind than accept kindness.

Such self-doubt follows me everywhere no matter how hard I fight against it.  Before I moved to Virginia almost two years ago, I made a conscious decision to burn old bridges and make new ones.  I needed to surround myself with people who had my best interest at heart and no longer interact with takers or users or abusers. Then I decided to start blogging again after a long break.  I remember thinking, “What could I possibly contribute to the Blogosphere?”  “Who would even read my blog?”  Doni said anyone who wears multiple hats or juggles many things at once will want to read my blog.  Michelle and Chris also pushed me to take the leap to resurrect the blogger in me.  I knew I would be a different blogger than I was for so long.  But I did not know what to expect from my new life online with a new blog and a Twitter account. I did not expect for so many bloggers around the globe to embrace me.   To become real friends offline.  To cheer me on when times were great.  To send me hugs when I was down.  To laugh at my bad jokes.  I certainly did not expect in any given day to have 20 to 600 hits on my blog. I did not expect myself to reach out to others as much as I did.  I did not expect myself to reach out, make new friends and take risks with them. I realized recently that you all make me want to be a better woman.  I want to genuinely be myself.  I hope you’ll stick around.  I will do my best to be there for you, too.

When you take action or use your words online, those words and actions are out there for all the world to see.  There is no hiding from yourself.  There is no hiding from it… whatever it is.  Wouldn’t you rather put your light out into the world than hide in darkness?  Or to project darkness?

I know I would.  And that is what I try to do.

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I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One. Namaste.