My not so sexy or revolutionary Valentine’s Day

Earlier this month, Chelsea wrote an amazing post titled Because Revolutions are SEXY…

If you haven’t read it, go read it now.


See? I told you it was amazing.

I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day for a long time. At least, sometimes it feels like a long time when a majority of my friends are no longer single.  Generally, I consider Valentine’s Day to be just another day. I send family and friends Valentine’s Day cards or goodies because that’s just who I am. This year, my mom and I live within a half hour of each other for the first time in roughly three years. When I wasn’t living in the same city as my family, I also wasn’t single. Or at least, I had a date on Valentine’s Day. But I haven’t had a date on this day since 2007. Maybe 2006? Hell, I don’t even remember anymore.

This year, I spent the entire weekend doing things for myself or spending time with my mom.

My mom bought me flowers. Cheesy, but awesome.

Friday night I went to happy hour with a friend in my program. Blood orange margaritas and fish tacos were exactly what I needed after a long week. I had every intention to do some school related work, like any good grad student would do, but I didn’t. I chose to do laundry and clean up the apartment and watch something on Netflix.

I slept in on Saturday. I took a full day off of school work of any kind. I went to the salon for my regular six week cut and color.  I spent all evening with my family. We went out for Tex Mex and then watched DVRed episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher and What Not to Wear. I had to pick up a friend from the airport at 10pm, so I hung out until then.

On Sunday, I did some schoolwork (although not enough to enjoy a relaxing Monday night).  My mom drove down here and we went to the mall. I hadn’t been to the mall to just browse and hang out in ages. Usually when I go to the mall it’s an in and out on a mission kind of thing. I needed some Mac powder, but I didn’t need the metallic bronze purplish flats I splurged on. And you know what? It’s OK.  The best part of the night? We went to see Anthony Bourdain. And yes, he’s just as dreamy in person as he is on the show. It was just downright wonderful to see one of my favorite celebrities in a venue like that. I’m going to save further comment for my month in review post. Sorry!

As you read this, I’m sitting in my little cubicle at the Navy base doing research.  When I leave work tonight, I’ll head straight to my personal trainer who will inevitably kick my ass like he always does. Then I’ll catch up on a ton of schoolwork while I watch episodes of Veronica Mars.

My weekend may not exactly be what one would call a revolution. It certainly wasn’t sexy (except for Anthony Bourdain, of course). I am not going to wear a sexy dress or drink champagne or eat anything special or take myself on a “real” date tonight. I had my revolution a few years back when I made the conscious decision to be single, to let go of negative patterns of thinking and behavior and start living my own life.  I am going to live this day like it is any other day because, in the scheme of things, it is just that… another day.

This girl isn’t shedding one damn tear over being her own woman today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day.  Come March, when I turn 28 and edge ever closer to my 30s, I might shed a tear. But for now, I will continue to be great on my own.

2011 is my year to love myself, remember?  I think I’m off to a good start.

Happy Valentine’s Day to me.

And to you.

With lots of love and hugs and candy.


Speaking of love, have you been reading the posts of love for the Pas de Deux series over at Ophelia’s Webb? If not, you totally should.  And I’ll be mentioning it again here in a week or so. 😉

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9 thoughts on “My not so sexy or revolutionary Valentine’s Day

  1. So I’m a little late, but Happy Valentine’s Day, gorgeous!

    I turn 28 on Friday, and you know what? I won’t shed a single tear. I thought I would, because YIKES how did that get here so damn quickly?! BUT I have a lot to be grateful for and look forward to, so bring it on, 28! Same for you – nothing but good things to look forward to!

    1. Thanks Stacey. Also hope you had a wonderful birthday! 😀 I really am looking forward to 30. It sounds weird, but I know my 30s will be my best years. My 20s have been my way of setting up the life I want to live, so here’s hoping!

  2. I’ve had more Valentine’s Days like you’ve described than not, over the many years since that day meant something to me. There is a silver lining, however; as you described, you get to do alot of work on yourself: with your personal trainer, your studies, yoga, building friendships, etc.

    Perhaps, later on in your life, if you choose to start a family and have kids; you will not have as much time for yourself. You may find yourself looking back and reminiscing about the days when you could do more things for your own personal development.

    Now that I have a wife, a daughter and even another child on the way; I have steadily learned to appreciate personal time and personal development. I still reflect on the times when I had alot of free time (but usually wasted much of it); because now my time is highly structured and I need to spend a significant portion of it helping with things that need to be done every day.

    At some point, several years back, I stopped feeling like holidays are any more special than the rest of the days. In some ways, the idea that holidays are more significant than other days, can take away from the significance of the present moment. Sure, we can observe that the holidays are here to remind us of something; but we need to make sure that we see the significance of each moment as well.

    Anyhow, I will leave you with a chapter from the Daodejing, which came into my mind when thinking about all of this. I hope it will mean something to you too :)

    I know nothing and nothing troubles me.
    I see no difference between yes and no.
    I see no difference between good and evil.
    I do not fear what the people fear in the night.

    The people are merry as if at a magnificent party
    Or playing in the park at springtime;
    But I am tranquil and wandering,
    Like a newborn before it learns to smile,
    Lonely, with no true home.

    The people have enough and to spare,
    But I have nothing,
    And my heart is foolish,
    Muddled and cloudy.

    The people are bright and certain,
    Where I am dim and confused;
    The people are clever and wise,
    Where I am dull and ignorant,
    Aimless as a wave drifting over the sea,
    Attached to nothing.

    The people are busy with purpose,
    Where I am impractical and rough.
    I am apart from all other people
    Yet I am sustained by Nature, their mother.

    –Daodejing – Peter Merel’s Interpolation

    1. Thanks, Chris. :) I am very thankful for these years I’ve chosen to be alone with myself. It’s not always pleasant being still and focused on your goals when others around you seem to be living very different lives. But it is worth it and I will always be happy for this time.

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